Get Organized

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Pointer 7: Get Organized

Making an appointment schedule, keeping tabs on where you are in your menstrual cycle, and staying on top of mounting bills and insurance payments can seem as demanding as a full-time job. And most people must maintain a full-time job in order to secure the means to pay medical bills or obtain health insurance coverage. But we have found that couples who have a system for paying bills, recording information, following up on insurance claims, and keeping a detailed appointment calendar report less stress surrounding their infertility than do couples who have no organized system.

Recently, we saw a perfect example of a disorganized couple who came for their entry interview at the in-vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic where we do psychological screenings. As they walked in, we could tell at a glance the couple had been arguing and were very angry with each other. The wife, Gina, explained that she had scheduled this interview about six weeks ago and had told Vincent, her husband, that she had done so. Vincent denied that he had been informed and was furious over having to take an unexpected afternoon off from work during a particularly busy time. Gina countered that she even heard him (through the telephone) make a note of the appointment. After about five minutes of bickering, the couple calmed down enough to participate in the interview. As the interview progressed, not unexpectedly, they were unable to answer questions about the what's and when's of their treatment history. The interview concluded when Vincent rose and stomped out of the room. Gina stayed with us, crying and saying, "I wish I could get it together."

One reason for Gina's distress was her infertility, which as you know, can never be fully under the patient's control. But the major reason for her upset -- a reason that was under her control -- was her lack of organizational skills. Losing track of what was happening alienated the couple from each another and contributed to their stress of being unable to conceive a child.

The energy and time you spend staying organized is extremely valuable because it helps you gain control of your treatment. Women typically think they will remember the exact day of their post-coital test and its results. You probably think that you will never forget your endometrial biopsy and exactly what the doctor told you afterward. But with time, multiple treatments and doctor's reports can assimilate into a big, terrible blur. So after every treatment, we encourage you to keep a record of it -- a medical one for your doctor and a psychological one for yourself.

In addition, we encourage you to keep logs of each and every menstrual cycle, master and utilize the insurance payment system we've developed (only after we lost track of a few major claims of our own), and purchase (and fill in) an appointment calendar for all future tests, treatments and procedures so you and your partner can better anticipate what's to come in the days and weeks ahead.