Dear Visitor:

We meet frequently with people who are thinking of becoming egg recipients.  They often want information about the experiences of people who have done this procedure to help them decide if they want to follow this path to parenthood.  Because we have parented our own twins, conceived through egg donation, for the past ten years, we can share our experiences with them.  But our experiences are unique to us.  We would like to collect the experiences that many other people have had as egg recipients. 

We would love to hear from you if you have been an egg recipient.  We will keep your identity secret.  However, we would like to discuss the experiences you've had.  Please email us at:  yepstein@rci.rutgers.edu  or hsr@rci.rutgers.edu   to tell us about your experiences.

For the header of your email please write: My Recipient Story.

It would be helpful if you could address the some of the following issues: (Pick ones that seem most meaningful to you)

Talk about making the decision to become an egg recipient.

1. What led you to choose this path to parenthood?
   1. Describe any demographic information that you feel comfortable sharing about your situation. (For example, how old you were when you decided to do the procedure, whether you were married and if so, how long, how long you had been trying to get pregnant, whether you had any children you had given birth to from your current relationship or from a previous relationship, whether you had any adopted children, whether your partner had any children from a previous relationship, what problem was preventing you from conceiving with the use of your own eggs etc.
   2. Describe any concerns that you had about whether egg donation was the choice for you.
   3. Did you also consider adoption?  If yes, why did you ultimately choose egg donation rather than adoption?
2. How did you choose the practice and donor you worked with?
   1. Did you compare several different practices before choosing the one you worked with?  If yes, what factors were most important in choosing the one you worked with?
   2. Did you use an anonymous rather than a known donor?
   3. If you used an anonymous donor, was this a donor that the medical practice found for you or was it one that you obtained through a donor broker or an ad that you placed yourself?
   4. Based on your experiences doing the procedure, do you have some advice to share with women who are considering becoming egg recipients?

Talk about the experience of being pregnant with the baby or babies born through egg donation

1. How was your pregnancy?
   1. Did you have a singleton or a multiple pregnancy?
   2. Did you feel a special bond with your baby when you felt it moving inside you? What was this like for you?
   3. Did you go to full term or did you have any medical complications that led to an early delivery?
   4. Were there any problems with the delivery?
   5. How long did you stay in the hospital?  Did your baby come home with you when you were discharged or did s/he have to remain in the hospital for a while?

Talk about your experiences of parenting your child (or children)

1. If you have any other children, how does this parenting experience compare with parenting your other child (or children)
2. How does your parenting experience compare with what you expected it to be?  Were there any particular surprises? 
3. If you have children that you conceived with your own eggs in addition to the child conceived through egg donation, do those other children know that this child was conceived with the help of an egg donor?  If yes, has that influenced their relationship with this child? 
4. If you have children that you conceived with your own eggs in addition to the child conceived through egg donation, how do your feelings for this child compare with your feelings for the other child (children)
5. If you have children that you conceived with your own eggs in addition to the child conceived through egg donation, how does your parenting of this child compare to your experiences parenting the other children?

Talk about the issue of disclosure

1. Have you told anyone other than your child that you used an egg donor? 
   1. If yes, who did you tell and how did you tell them?
   2. What was their reaction?
2. Have you told your child that you used an egg donor?
   1. When did you tell the child? What were the circumstances and how old was the child?
   2. What did you say?
   3. Did your child understand what your were talking about?  What was your child's response?

What questions do you have?  What would you like to know more about?  What issues, if any, are most difficult for you to deal with?

If we get lots of responses to this solicitation for feedback, we will summarize what we've learned and share that summary on this web site.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Helane and Yakov